The Disclaimer.

It's come to my attention that all the great Web sites, blogs and the like have one thing in common -- they all have some sort of disclaimer buried deep within their site maps.

I know deep within my bone marrow this, too, can be a great Web site and/or blog.  So it's my responsibility as the person who posts here to give a shit and also provide a disclaimer for my readers.

Most disclaimers, Terms of Use and Privacy policies are more than likely written by a team of lawyers or other types of people with some sort of fancy degrees.

Mine is not.

Mine is written for the people who don't like four-syllable words as much as they like the four-letter ones.

I've titled this post "The Disclaimer" because "Disclaimer/Terms of Use/Privacy Policy/End User License Agreement" wouldn't fit in the subject line, but that's what this should've been called because quite honestly I don't very much know the damned difference between any of it.

Okay, enough bullshitting around.  Here it is.
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Disclaimer/Terms of Use/Privacy Policy/End User License Agreement for CONTENT UNRELATED, hosted by BLOGGER, provided by GOOGLE, and brought to you with limited commercial interruption by the INTERNET.

By reading the posts found in CONTENT UNRELATED, the user acknowledges that he/she enjoys spending time reading shit written by someone else.  Upon entering this blog, the user also agrees that he/she has a sense of humor -- be it dry, wet (wet?), or somewhere in between.  Either way, the user can expect high-brow as well as low-brow humor -- but mostly low-brow.

CONTENT UNRELATED recognizes the full potential -- and makes gratuitous use -- of obscene language, and hasn't a fucking clue what "politically correct" means.  Sophomoric sexual humor should also be expected.

Descriptions of actual people, places and events are purely coincidental.  Thus, upon entering and reading posts on this blog, the user agrees that this is sort of like an episode of Law & Order SVU.

Any similarities between the writing style or blog title, name, contents, design and layout of CONTENT UNRELATED and that of other Web sites and/or blogs is also coincidence.  Seriously, the Internet killed originality.  This is something we're all going to have to deal with or none of us will ever be happy.

Companies and businesses mentioned in CONTENT UNRELATED, as well as their products and services, have no affiliation with the blog.  Any negative remarks about said companies or businesses and their respective products or services are purely in jest.  In short -- take a fucking joke.  By the simple act of viewing this blog and the posts contained within it -- be it firsthand or otherwise -- you've agreed not to sue me.  For anything.

Furthermore, views and opinions expressed about particular products or services mentioned on CONTENT UNRELATED are not meant to deter potential customers or clients from consuming the aforementioned products or services.  If any person's product or service choices are altered solely from posts on CONTENT UNRELATED, then we are in fact one step closer to the apocalypse.

Companies or businesses and their products or services that happen to receive positive remarks or praise in CONTENT UNRELATED should consider themselves lucky, but should not expect an increase in sales or an influx of new customers.  CONTENT UNRELATED would have a hard enough time convincing a paranoid schizophrenic that people are out to get him. 

Views and opinions expressed by those who write comments in regards to any posts on CONTENT UNRELATED are those of the commenter alone, even though I may find said comments to be hilarious.

CONTENT UNRELATED does not guarantee 100 percent satisfaction, and may sometimes leave the user disappointed, disgusted, or some synonym of either.

Followers do so at their own risk.

This Disclaimer/Terms of Use/Privacy Policy/End User License Agreement can and will change without notice to the user.  If users miss any changes or updates made to the Disclaimer/Terms of Use/Privacy Policy/End User License Agreement -- well that's just tough goddamn noogies.
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Have a nice day, readers.