Next Blog>>

I'm not sure if you've noticed, but at the top of this blog, there is a tab that will take you to another, random blog.  It used to be that this tab would take you to another totally random blog on Blogger.  This new blog would more than likely be totally unrelated to the blog you were just on, and it also would -- without fail -- be in a different fucking language.

Blogger has since improved the functionality of the aforementioned tab:

"We've made the Next Blog link more useful, by taking you to a blog that you might like. The new and improved Next Blog link will now take you to a blog with similar content, in a language that you understand. If you are reading a Spanish blog about food, the Next Blog link will likely take you to another blog about food. In Spanish!

You might discover a cool blogger who has hobbies similar to yours, has similar taste in electronic gadgets, likes sports that you're into, or has similar curiosities and interests."

This is all well and good.  I like the idea of discovering new things based on similar tastes and interests.  I like that if someone reads a blog about some day of the week that is particularly shitty, they can click NEXT BLOG and potentially stumble upon this epic masterpiece.

Thing is, it doesn't fucking work. 

Humor me, here.  Go ahead and click the NEXT BLOG tab and see where it takes you.

You'd better fucking come back though.  Seriously.  I'll find you.

Nine times out of 10, you'll be redirected to some vomit-inducing happy family's blog about their happy family weekend with their sickeningly cute and adorable new child.  There's also a chance you'll fall into something crafty -- like a blog about crafts or some shit.  The other prominent result is a photographer's page, loaded with pictures of people in jeans and white t-shirts on beaches.  And kids.  So.  Many.  Kids.

So, what'd you get?  When I clicked to go to the next blog, I got this.

I don't see a dick joke anywhere. 

I'd be an asshole if I said these blogs weren't as important as the one you're reading now.  I love writing, and I love when other people find something they love to write about.  Everyone has a purpose and a point with things they write and pictures they take.  

All I'm saying is, I write sophomoric jokes about sex and herpes.  I also say "fuck," like -- a lot.  I doubt the Johnston Family Blog would appreciate it very much if one of their readers were to be redirected to a post about why the Mikes Hard Lemonade they're drinking makes them look like a total fucking girl.

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 This is where I post the link to Twitter and Facebook.  I'm fucking exhausted though, y'all.  Everything you need's on the goddamn sidebar, okay?