Things that Suck #11.5: The Internet can go fuck itself.

I am not a fan of extensive research.  However, when it comes to information pertaining to the extremely socially relevant blog Content Unrelated, I feel I would be doing you, the reader, a disservice by not fact-checking my shit before I post it.

What I'm getting at here, is that I fact-check my shit.

In the last Things that Suck post, I had showcased all the things that sucked about a song called "Escape."  Before I wrote the article, I had been under the impression that some guy named Jimmy Buffett was the singer of said musical masterpiece.  I went on Google, I typed in "Jimmy Buffett + Escape + Lyrics" and I got all these fucking hits telling me that Buffett was, in fact, the artist.

A couple really great friends of mine pointed out that I was totally fucking wrong, and that "Escape" wasn't Buffett's.  This Earth-shattering information was then confirmed by the very source that steered me wrong in the first place.

The goddamn Internet.

Further investigation (okay, fucking Wikipedia) revealed to me the true identity of the artist behind this masterpiece.  His name is Rupert Holmes.

Pictured:  Not Jimmy Buffett

I don't know who the hell he is, either, but I bet he's really fucking tired of people thinking Buffett was the creator of his shit.

In my defense:

Results 1-10 of about 67,400 for escape rupert holmes. (0.14 seconds.
Results 1-10 of about 169,000 for escape jimmy buffett. (0.08 seconds)

That's from fucking Google, y'all.

Almost three times the results in less than half the time for Mr. Motherfucking Margaritaville.

Allow me to take this time to apologize to you, Mr. Holmes.  Even though I'm so, so sick of your song, I'm a fan of giving credit where credit is due.

Thanks to Kellie and Leigh for pointing out how completely and utterly stupid I am for not checking my shit better.

Fuck you, Internet.  Fuck.  You.