Is it Manly? #5 - Listening to Chick Bands.

Alright, gents.

Welcome to the fifth installment of Is it Manly?  I know you gentlemen come to Content Unrelated for the real deal on what is and isn't manly.  You trust me; and while I wonder why the fuck you'd make that mistake, I still appreciate it nonetheless.

New to the series? 

Is it Manly? will feature one product or service in each post.  Based on research conducted by me and fueled by my opinions alone; reasons, examples and evidence (mostly bullshit I make up on the spot) will be provided as to why society might deem these products as less than manly.

After an intense investigation (again, mostly bullshit), a ruling of whether or not said product or service should be considered manly will be made.

All decisions are final.  No refunds, exchanges or returns.

So, what are we dealing with here?

The Paramores, Avril Lavignes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Lady Gagas and Rihannas of the world.  Chick music, y'all.  More specifically though -- music made by chicks, not just music for chicks.  "Some of those aren't chick bands, guy," you might say.  "You're fucking retarded, guy," you might also say.  Before you say such mean-spirited things to me, let me just make clear that a "band" in this case doesn't necessarily mean guitars are involved.  If guitars are involved, the people behind said guitars don't have to be chicks -- just the vocalist.

Remember when I said I made up the rules?

Yeah.  I'm still doing that.

What are chick bands?

I sort of already talked about that in the last section.  I just put this question here because these Is it Manly? posts have been following a certain format.  Who are we to question or fuck with the format?

Why it's okay:

I'd like to take this time to enter into evidence Exhibit A:

Bands like Arch Enemy work because when you're playing this on your car stereo loud enough for people to notice you (douche), girls aren't going to laugh at you so much as be completely terrified of the demon-speak coming from your speakers.  But look at it this way -- while they might fear your music and, as a result, you, they won't laugh at you for being a pussy.

Other, less demonic chick bands are okay because, by nature, chicks happen to love chick bands.  Just like when a girl digs a guy who digs shitty romantic comedies, they also dig guys who are into sappy girl music.

Why it isn't:

Try telling a girl you listen to Lady Gaga and see if she ever takes you seriously again.  Alanis?  Forget about it.  Guy, you have to like what she likes, but you have to make sure you don't like it until she tells you she likes it.  If you're the first one to bring up the new Carrie Underwood song, you might be sleeping alone longer than you thought.

Similar, more manly options:

Well first off, get a little more Arch Enemy in your rotation.  Another tip:  Within Temptation is manly Evanescence.

So, is it manly?

Yes and no.  This one's still up in the air.  If your iTunes is like, 10 percent chick band to 90 percent other music, you should be okay -- as long as you don't drive through the Publix parking lot blasting the latest from Kelly Clarkson.

How could it be manlier?

If that Kelly Clarkson CD you love oh-so-much was playing while you were battling Jason Statham in a fucking death race.  You have to win to get the respect though.  If Statham blew you up and they found your scorched remains next to a car speaker still playing "Since You've Been Gone," they'll just spit on you and call you a bitch.

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Now, men --  go forth and do what it is you do best.  The NFL Playoffs are this Sunday, so I fully expect you to drink beers, eat brats and yell incoherently at the TV.

Get manlier with previous Is it Manly? posts!

#4 - Cuddling

#3 - Tighty-Whities

#2 - Fruity Beers

#1 - Elliptical Machines

Old Spice wants you to be manly:



*Old Spice did not sponsor or pay for their spot in Is it Manly?, nor does it have any ties whatsoever to Content Unrelated.  While Old Spice did not pay to be here, they are certainly encouraged to send a check.