Cullman Liquidation is real. Their Web site is here.
Robert Lee is the physical embodiment of the old saying "sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me." What I mean to say is; Robert Lee is a badass. He got beat in the face five times with a crescent wrench!
I cried for half an hour when a friend of mine hit me in the face with a baseball when I was 16.
He starts off by telling the consumer what he has. Two-piece mobile homes. Some of them have stains, but they cover that shit up so you'd never know the difference.
If that's what you're looking for, you should visit Cullman. If not, don't fucking go.
Then we get introduced to the staff, including her:
The first shot of her lets the consumer know they'll be dealing with a friendly face while they're trying to make their purchase. In the shot featured above, she's a stone-cold, no-bullshit kind of gal. Yeah, she'll sell you a mobile home, but you'd better not try to pull a fast one on her or she'll rip your face off.
I like that.
Lee then talks about all the times he got pounded in the face with tools and fenceposts. This is important for the consumer to know, as he then says he's been hurt way worse than someone not buying anything from him.
He won't be doing any boo-hooing, is what I'm trying to say.
We're then treated to a couple shots of pure manliness as Lee rips apart a tree with a chainsaw and his fucking bare hands.
Pictured: Manliness personified.Finally, Robert Lee closes the commercial with the best line delivered in any commercial ever.
"So come on down to Cullman Liquidation and get yourself a home. Or don't. I don't care."
And then he just turns around and fucking walks away. Complete badassery. It really shows the guy is in it for the love of the work, not the money. I love that.
On the official Badassery Scale, Robert Lee is between Chuck Norris and John McClane.
This commercial kicks so much ass. I wish only the best for this company during these shitty economic times.
*More information on this can be found on the YouTube page for the video under the info section.
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