Things that Suck 18

Not long ago (or too long ago, depending on your sense of time), I'd said something here about being an inconsistent prick.  I said there might be a chance I wouldn't update frequently because I'm lazy or something.

If you've noticed dead air coming from this side of the Internet, you've realized this is still true.

Let's address now this whole issue about it being Wednesday, and how these Things that Suck posts usually take place on Mondays.  I'd love to have been able to post on Monday.  I was busy.  I had things to do.  

The Internet wasn't the most important thing in my life that day.

I know.  Weird.

I can't use the stock intro because it isn't Monday, and I don't feel like rewriting it.  

Why?  

We've been through this.  I'm lazy.

Plus, you should already know how the hell all this works, so let's get it over with.

Things that Suck 18

1.  When people block the inside left turn lane.

You're nearing a three-way intersection.  You've spent the last five minutes behind some fucking bluehair in a Buick and you know you're going to finally get a chance to go around this relic when the one Turn Only lane becomes two.

Looking ahead, you see the inside left turn lane is totally empty, while other people are inexplicably piling up in the outside lane.  Before you get to the stoplight, you are already planning to take that inside lane so you can get ahead of about six or seven cars.

Slowing down, you start to realize your hopes of passing all those people are about to get shit on like they're in some kind of foreign fetish porn, because apparently you and one other person are the only people aware of that second turn lane to begin with.

OMGWTF.

It's the kind of thing that makes you want to go all Grand Theft Auto III on everyone and everything.

It isn't worth it, man.  Put the gun down.  People are harder to pull out of their cars than the game leads you to believe, anyway.  Trust me.

2.  A dead iPod before a long drive.

Your shit is packed.  Everything you need is in the car.  You're ready to hit the road.  You've got snacks to munch on along the way.  Porn for when you stop at a rest area.

You know.  The usual.

You turn your car on and break out the iPod.  You made this killer highway mix the other day in preparation for the trip, and you need Miley to get you through the first leg of your journey.

You try to power that sucker on, but nothing happens.  Again, you try.  Again, nothing.  Then it hits you.  You must've left it on last night when you were on your way home from work.  You got out really late and you were in a rush to get home so you could finish (start) packing.  And, in that haste, you forgot to shut it off for the night.

Since you haven't purchased a CD in six and a half years because you're a pirating, thieving douchebag (I support you!), you're stuck listening to the same 10 goddamn songs currently on rotation with the only radio station in your area that isn't full of static.

Yeah.  Have fun with that.  You have bigger problem than a dead iPod if you aren't on the verge of batshit insanity after hearing You Belong with Me or Fireflies six times within 49 insufferable minutes.  Buy a car charger, cheapass.

3.  Facebook's inability to stick with one goddamn format.

Are you a Facebook user?  First of all, if you are, why aren't you a fan of Content Unrelated?  The link is over there.  On the right.  No.  You're other right.

Christ.

So I'm sure you're aware by now that Facebook has yet again messed with its interface.  Notifications are somewhere else.  So is the logout button.  They've still deemed it necessary to have "Top Stories" and "Most Recent" tabs, though -- something I've never understood.

Facebook, let's talk about this for a second.  While MySpace still owns the 14-year-old girl demographic because it allows glittery GIFs , you are really getting a grasp on the people-who-are-borderline-too-old-to-figure-out-how-to-click-a-mouse demographic.  You need to embrace the baby-boomers!  Stop fucking around with your layout, pick something and stick with it.

Shit.  You're more indecisive than a fat kid in a Dunkin' Donuts.

Get the Boston Creme and pay, bitch.  I want my coffee.

---

In life, I am sure of three things:  death, taxes and sucky things.

Tell me your things that suck in the comments.

Now is not the time to talk shit about your sister.  "Suck" here is used figuratively, not literally.

Here are your previous Things that Suck posts.  Read them.  Love them.  Hate them.  I don't care (accept me!).

<-- 17 - 16 - 15 - 14 - 13 - 12 - 11.5 - 11 - 10 - 9 - 8/7 - 6 - 5 - 4 - 3 - 2 - 1 -->

Now go forth and carpe the fucking diem.