Terrible day at the office? Go out with your coworkers and drink!
Problems with the significant other? Go out with your friends (the ones he or she never lets you hang out with otherwise) and drink!
Have a midterm the next day? Drink while you study!
Failed that midterm? Drink while you beg your parents for more money so you can re-take the semester!
DUI? Uh. Wait.
I'll stop there.
That was almost awful. You people might get the wrong idea about me. I have an image to maintain, you know. I need to keep this place classy.
Had I been a celebrity, I would've had to apologize for that. It's a good thing Content Unrelated is so underground.
It's like if blogs were Indie. Not a lot of people really get the point, but the people who do can't seem to fucking get enough of it.
I don't do research for Content Unrelated, because integrity really isn't on my list of priorities.
Point is, I've heard the Irish are fans of everything that makes the liver quiver.
I love stereotypes. Especially one that gives me a reason to get plastered on a Wednesday.
In actuality, your Bullshitter-in-Chief will not be getting his obliteration-on this St. Patrick's Day. I much prefer to watch the bad decisions, pissed pants, drunk-dials and hilariously uncontrollable projectile vomiting from the sidelines.
Instead, my celebration will consist of none other than a bowl of Lucky Charms, receiving my luck o' the Irish via hearts, stars and horseshoes, clovers and blue moons, pots of gold and rainbows, and the red balloons.
I just really like how the Lucky himself doesn't so much look like he wants his Lucky Charms so much as he wants to consume your soul.
It's uncanny.All joking aside (I know, that was as weird for me to say as it was for you to read), don't do anything moronic today. Have fun. Shit your pants. I don't care.
Just don't do anything retarded. No one wants to remember St. Patty's Day as the day they got herpes or the day they met their new life partner in prison. People do care about you -- even if they found out you read this blog.
Shit just got serious in here. Don't get used to it.Otherwise -- eat green, drink green, piss green. Just don't drink the green piss.
Happy St. Patrick's Day. Be safe, bitches!
And for the love of God, sing this song tonight.
1 comments unrelated:
I've said too much, so I'll let you take it from here.