Google has led you astray -- Part 2

Because every good idea needs to be relentlessly beaten to death until you're so sick of it you'd rather have chlamydia, Google Has Led You Astray is going to be a regularly occurring thing around here.

Whether you like it or not.

Why?

Because it's fucking awesome.  That's why.

Because the Internet is still full of really weird shit, and the world is still full of people who search for it.

This will never change, so you might as well get used to it now.

In these posts, I explore the search terms people were using when they happened upon my little slice of heaven instead of getting what they really wanted -- like a really shitty Christmas morning, where all you wanted was a Nintendo 64, but your parents got you a train wreck instead.

"Merry Christmas.  By the way -- you're adopted."

And now, for this week's train wrecks.

1.  "google is shit gives you unrelated answers"
If whoever searched this still has a pulse, they should consider themselves lucky.  Google doesn't fuck around.  I'm pretty sure they have people who regulate on those brave enough to oppose the most powerful presence on the Internet (next to the porn industry).  I suggest, sir or ma'am, that you refine your search to instead read, "Google is the shit -- gives you Content Unrelated."  Like that.  See?

2.  "manly motherfucking week"
A whole week?  Of what?  Watching baseball and making sexist remarks about women?  Will there be beer?  Is it really necessary to set aside a week to be a manly motherfucker?  Be a man all the time!  Yell incoherently at the TV when the ref does something you don't agree with.  You can ask him if he's blind, but he isn't.  I assure you.  He's deaf -- because no matter how loud you scream, he still can't fucking hear you.

3.  "my tighty whities are too tight"
Really?  Seriously?  What did you hope to accomplish with this search?  Were you hoping to finally solve the Rubik's Cube that is your too-tight underwear situation?  Google will tell you the same thing I'm about to tell you.  The same thing everyone else who's reading this right now is about to tell you.

Buy some bigger goddamn underwear.

But not tighty-whities.  They aren't manly.  Bitch.

4.  "things that literally suck"
We aren't stupid, Guy Who Searched For This.  We know what you were really after.  You were using this as a roundabout way of looking for some sucky-sucky porn.  I'm on to you, Guy.  And once your mom gets back on the computer, she's going to figure it out, too.  And then guess what?  No MySpace for a week!  Go cry about it.

5.  "im a fucking pc"
What does this even mean?  Clearly you're very passionate about being a PC if you have to use such harsh language.  Are you referring to like, PCs and Macs?  Because if that's the case, then I'm a fucking PC, too, so I'm with you, there.  But what else could PC mean?

Oh!

---

As always, there are plenty more where these came from.  As long as people keep searching for weird shit and finding Content Unrelated instead (suckers!), I'll have fuel for this fire.

Thanks again, Internet.