The placenta: Not just for baby anymore.

Seriously.  What the hell is going on around here?

First, testicles.  Now there's placenta in the mix.

Placenta.

The placenta serves a very important purpose.  According to the 80 percent accurate Wikipedia (Content Unrelated's only source for research purposes), it's an organ that connects a developing fetus to the uterine wall.  Its purpose, then, is to allow nutrient uptake and to eliminate waste, among other things.

Pictured: Other things.

You're reading that right.  It's placenta.  Packaged.  It's for your hair, you know, in case Head n' Shoulders doesn't do the trick, you can rub a little afterbirth in your scalp.

To be fair, this product isn't human placenta.  The Internet tells me this particular product comes from a sheep.  Throw a little of this in your "dry, brittle, lifeless hair" and grab your sheepskin condoms for some dry, brittle, lifeless sex.

And then you can do it like they do on the Discovery Channel.

I wasn't at some off-the-wall hippy in-touch-with-the-Earth-spirits type of store, either.  This was at the fucking Bed Bath & Beyond.  I looked around for more products like this, but the only thing similar I could find was some kangaroo spleen hand lotion, which they were fresh out of.

After all this, though, I'm not so much curious about the people who buy it as I am about the guy who was desperate enough to fix his shitty hair by rubbing sheep placenta on his head.

What's more, he had to have had a fucking amazing marketing team.

Investor:  So show me what you've got for me, Mr. Johnson.

Johnson:  Sir, imagine a world where dry, brittle, lifeless hair was a thing of the past.

Investor:  I'm listening.

Johnson:  With this new miracle product, you will never have another bad hair day, guaranteed.

Investor:  What you're talking about, Mr. Johnson, is impossible.

Johnson:  Not anymore.  Not with sheep placenta!

Investor:  Sheep whatnow?

Johnson:  Placenta!  I know how it sounds.  Here.  Smoke this and I'll tell you all about it.

Actually, that's the same way they were able to put the KFC Double Down on the market.

Seriously.  You'd HAVE to be high.

And while we're on the subject of food, feel free to scarf some of this down after you finish your death sandwich:

Yeah.  That just happened.