Hot object is hot.

For those of you who've read through some of the blog, you may have figured out that I am a whore to the service industry, and I have been for quite some time.

Like, maybe a little longer than this.

Now, restaurant or not, if you work in the corporate world, you're none too familiar with dumbass waste-of-paper company-wide memos that get sent out to managers to relay to employees.  These memos cover new policies or changes to existing ones, company goals and other things you joke with your co-workers about during your regular post-shift binge-drinking.

The following memo regarding employee safety in regards to accidental burns is no exception.

Wait.  What?

The guy who wrote this has a corner office.  He makes six figures.  You have a corner in your mom's basement.  You have action figures.

I mean, I understand there are some pretty goddamn dense people in the world, but if you feel like you need to spell something like this out to your employees, you should reconsider the type of people you hire.

--  "Now, let's talk about injuries in the workplace.  

Does anyone have any suggestions as to 

what can cause an accidental burn?"

"Hurrrrrrrr."  --

--  "Anyone?"

"Uhhhhh it burns when I pee sometimes."  --

--  "What?  Ugh.  No.  Just, just tell me 

something that's hot, okay?"

"Your mom?"  --

The best part of the memo is that, after it tells you that you could get a burn from fire and other shit that's hot, it gives you examples of said hot shit, as if to say, "You're way too stupid to figure any of this out."

Thanks for that.  I never would've thought hot water could be hot.

I only wish it would've come with an interactive instruction booklet.

I won't go any lower than a nine.

Have you received any hilariously moronic messages from the head honchos of your place of employment?  Share them with the rest of the class.  Leave a comment.  Make the rest of us feel better about our shitty jobs.

Follow me on Twitter.  You won't get burned.  Probably.

Do you like stupid things?  Why stop now.