It's called the Golden Orb Weaver. It's a huge-ass monstrosity of a spider.
It is this big:
That's right. Open your hand, palm-side up. Now imagine a spider occupying the entire area of your palm. That's how big this terror-machine is.
A picture was captured of the spider in murderous action is sustaining its soulless existence by giving this bird what-for when it stupidly flew into the spider's deathtrap of a web.
Later reports verify that the spider's web had recently been cleaned with Windex.
It has also suspected this same spider was found hanging out at the entrance of a barn in the summer of 2009, taunting the animals and farmers with threats of violence via messages spun within its web.
Other messages such as, "Don't go to sleep tonight," and, "I want to eat UR soul," were also found.
Australia needs John Goodman to get over there and kick some arachnid ass, pronto. I just hope he's well equipped, because spiders over there are serious business.
I am alright with spiders as long as I can kick their ass and I don't have to go get my machete to kick theirs. ~*shudders*~
ReplyDeletei once saw a hairy spider the size of a normal-sized circle wall clock, when i was in honduras. it scurried ridiculously fast and hid where we couldnt find it.
ReplyDeleteick.
Spiders are a pain in the friggin' ass. I have like twenty of them that hang out on my front entrance and I used to clean their cobwebs all the time. But it's as if the more I clean the more they decide to decorate. So I said fuck it. Now I just have all these damn cobwebs at the entrance of my place and I'm okay with it.
ReplyDeleteIf anyone asks I just say I'm an animal lover. Which is true but I really don't love spiders. Who the hell loves spiders?!
That picture isn't even a joke. I saw one this summer while I was in Australia and it was easily the size of two of my face. Love this blog though, keep it real.
ReplyDeleteI just moved to Australia three weeks ago from California...to Queensland's God damn tropical north. My husband swears up and down you rarely see spiders, but out neighbor found a huntsman spider in her sink last week (the spider in the motivational picture). I'm going to die, aren't I?
ReplyDeletehttp://heddownunder.blogspot.com
This gave me the goosebumps.I hate hate hate spiders. Just typing the word makes me want to cower. UGH.
ReplyDeleteI gave you a blog award. You can read about it in my last post. The award icon is really girly, so if you don't want to post it I am totaly ok if you find a picture of your chosing. :)
Thanks for being awesome!
Jess
BeMistified - I will never be okay with spiders. Never. A thousand times never.
ReplyDeleteBonnie - I would've left the country within 30 seconds.
Annah - They're creepy! Eight legs of terror. You never know which way they're gonna go.
Caitlin - Ugh! If I would've seen that thing I'm pretty sure all the testosterone would've left my body, instantly turning me into a quivering pile of sissy.
hed. - I'm scared to visit Australia because I'm so terrified of snakes and spiders, and I hear they have more than their fair share over there. I wish you luck.
M,M&I - Thanks for the award! I need to get crackin' on posting some awards of my own for blogs I enjoy. I think I'm going to make one up. Don't know what I want to call it yet -- but keep an eye out for it!
You'd think I'd know better than to read a post where there is a big-ass spider featured right before going to bed.
ReplyDeleteMind you, even while I was shuddering, I was marvelling at your wonderful way with words.
That is just one reason to never go down under. What I would really like to see is how Tim Taylor would handle exterminating such a thing.
ReplyDelete