Brought to you by the Simple Dude, the half-assed weekend post is pretty self-explanatory.
It's the weekend, so you're doing other things. You're drinking. You're watching football. You're drinking and watching football.
Doing. Other. Things.
You're visiting family. I don't know. It isn't my business.
So let's get on with it. I've got beer to drink.
And football to watch.
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Valentine's Day is coming up, you guys. Yeah, I know, Christmas was like, three days ago. But Hallmark doesn't give a shit how much you put on your credit cards for your significant other during the holidays.
There's a big-ass teddy bear you need to buy. It's holding a fluffy heart. It's adorable. Buy it or sleep on the fucking couch.
I'm holding a fluffy heart. I'm adorable. Buy me or sleep on the fucking couch.
Thankfully, if you're totally out of ideas, there's an article on Yahoo! with some ways to say "I love you."
I'm not going to re-hash the whole thing here. This is supposed to be half-assed, if you recall. But I would like to point out way number two.
That's cute. Tie the flowers together with something meaningful. Rope, a scarf, a charm bracelet. Wait. What was that last one?
Great. Now I need a second article about how to tie something together with a cord that doesn't exist.
Enjoy your weekend.
You know some asshole is going to try to do that. Maybe with the box it comes in.
ReplyDeleteAlso? Valentine's Day is bullshit (the movie sucks equally as much). I insisted on Taco Bell a few years ago.
Also made a deal with Boyfriend that no overpriced stupid v-day flowers, but flowers TWICE in the year for no reason at all. (It never happened, but I tried).
And my final also - there is EASTER shit on the shelves, too. Seriously, WTF?
I adore being reminded of my singleness each year on Valentine's Day. I always happen to be single on that particular day. WTF? It's like a damned curse.
ReplyDeleteI agree with StephC - Valentines day IS bullshit. I make a point to refer to it as 'DaybeforeFlagDay' so as not to even acknowledge the stupid wrist-slitting bullshit. Here in Ontario, they even had to go and make Family Day on the 15th. Fuck the lonely people. Let's drive the February suicide rate up even further. Just because Dalton fucking Mcguinty wanted a Statutory holiday.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell was wrong with FLAG DAY? I wouldn't even have to buy greeting cards. Fucking greeting cards.
J.Day.. I've decided to make V-D a day to Pamper myself as I am always single on that day too. Pedicure, manicure.. because I LOVE ME.
Whoa, okay /endrant.
haha.. cordless mouse. Classic.
great post!
ReplyDeleteand vday is bullshit! it is a greeting card holiday invented to sell cards.
i am all about celebrating but lets stick with holidays that include stuff everyone likes!
in no particular order!
football, drinking, food, exploding things, dressing up, (getting candy) three day week ends, more drinking, more food...
i neve get anything for my wife on vday or sweetest day, but randomly i buy her flowers and tie a cordless mouse around the stems...(it is a secret)
cuz i am all cool and stuff like that!
Bruce
bruce johnson jadip
evilbruce
stupid stuff i see and hear
Bruce’s guy book
the guy book
Dreamodel Guy
dreamodeling!
Good post.
ReplyDeleteAnd I hate valentines day.
my fiance and i don't do anything for valentine's...it's just stupid.
ReplyDeleteamberlashell.com
Definitely the most hilarious thing I have read in awhile.
ReplyDeleteI would be scared if I got a stuffed bear for valentine's day.
ReplyDelete"But baby, the taxadermy place down the street was having a sale! Just for Valentine's Day! Please unlock the door. It's raining."
Or...something like that...
just thought you'd like to know... you've received a blog award
ReplyDeleteBahahaha whoever wrote that was having a derp moment.
ReplyDeletehttp://theadorkableditzmissteps.blogspot.com/
Your posts are so funny! I'm so glad I found your blog. Love it.
ReplyDelete