Short and sweet.

It's Monday, and God knows none of you want to go back to work -- if in fact you consider whatever it is you do to be work at all.

You have enough on your plate; juggling time with Angry Birds, checking Twitter every five fucking minutes and getting all that nonsensical shit moved from your in pile to your out pile.

I know, frog.

So I won't burden you with paragraphs upon paragraphs of mind-blowing, life-changing epiphanies that would surely take the rest of your life for the supposed 10 percent of the brain you use to even begin to comprehend.

I won't do that.

So I'll keep it short and sweet, as the title suggests.

I've decided to take a different approach with this post than what I'm used to.  I've been a big fan of Haikus for a long time and I thought now would be a good time to share some of my own with you guys.

For those of you who plan your entire day around when to check my Twitter, you might recognize some of these, as I put a few of them there during my hiatus -- so deal with it.

So if you'll indulge me, here are some of my five-seven-fives.

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Looking for a job
Experience trumps degree
College was bullshit

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Looked up, clear blue sky
Then, wetness. No clouds. Not rain.
Bird shit in my eye.

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Having friends over
Release silent-but-deadly
No dog, blame the wife.

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That guy cut me off
Honk my horn? Give him finger?
Ran him into tree.

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Emailed resume
Never heard from company
Must've read my blog.

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Reply to someone
Realize they're on their Bluetooth
Trip them, feel better.

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At the store.  I'm drunk.
People are staring. Laughing.
Oh, shit. Forgot pants.

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This is the last one.
Stop reading. Get your shit done.
Your boss is watching.