LOL. You said "Weiner."

Welcome to the Half-Assed Weekend.

It's pretty self-explanatory.  It's the weekend and you have shit you want to do that you didn't get to do all week.

I don't want to waste your time.  Because I don't really give a shit but I want to act like I care.

So I'm going to half-ass it.  Though one could argue that I half-ass most of my posts anyway.

Would that make this quarter-assed?

That doesn't roll off the tongue quite as nicely as a half an ass does.

Wait.

Ahem.  Anyway, as before, this half-assed post is brought to you by the Simple Dude.

So when you get done here, make sure to click over to his blog.  It's the right thing to do, people.  For America.

So, Weinergate, y'all.

Some politician (who clearly has never heard of Brett Favre) sent crotch shots to some ladies on Twitter.  Because it was a direct message, it's private, right?

RIGHT?!

Wrong, Weiner.

If you're in the public spotlight and you decide to pull some of this shit, you have to expect it to come right back around and kick you in the wiener.  Again, Brett Favre knows.  Tiger Woods knows.  John Edwards knows.  And, most recently, Arnold Schwarznegnentnendjsger knows.

"Schwarznegnentnendjsger."  Nailed it.

The best part about this particular incident, obviously, is the dude's unfortunate last name.  I've seen some pretty hilarious tweets with Weiner-related puns, but, as it turns out, some of the best ones are coming from people who aren't even trying to be funny.

I found this on Yahoo! yesterday.  I'm still cleaning off my monitor from the half-chewed food I spat on it while in the middle of a crippling laughing fit.

That was probably an awkward interview.  Especially if the officer was hot.

What are some of your best Weiner-related jokes?  Did you already write some?  Tweet them to me or comment here and I'll throw a few of them in a post later this week.

I'm so cool.

Now go out and play.  It's fucking gorgeous out.