I haven't heard of anything this ridiculous since Kim Kardashian told that one joke about marriage, or that one time Justin Bieber was accused of being the father of the 20th Duggar kid or something.
"Baby, baby, baby?"
I don't know. I can't keep up with this shit anymore.
In the newest testament to the fact that people should have to take a series of tests in order to be allowed to breed, a bunch of misguided and shithouse rat-crazy parents had the half-brained, dim-witted idea to send pre-licked lollipops to other misguided, shithouse-rat crazy parents.
Pre-licked lollipops? By whom? For what purpose?
Remember when I told you to sit down? Well throw on a helmet, too, because the force at which the palm of your hand makes contact with your forehead could cause mild to moderate brain damage.
Now you've gone and upset Jesus.
According to this story, these "parents" are having their chicken pox-infected children lick said lollipops, and then sending these germ sticks to other parents they don't even know so that they, on the receiving end, would then have their kids suck on the diseased candy so that they can build a natural immunity to chicken pox over time.
Because the parents are afraid of the chicken pox vaccine.
Are you fucking with me, America? You're totally fucking with me, right?
"The transport and sale of contaminated items has been linked to a Facebook group called 'Find a Pox Party in Your Area,' which helps people anonymously arrange for the swapping and sale of contaminated items."
These people are not fit to be parents, and if I had any faith in the system at all, I'd vote to have their kids taken away in a heartbeat. Anonymously swapping contaminated goods? Really? And who's to say the person sending you that Cootie Roll Pop only put chicken pox on it? What ever happened to not taking candy from strangers? My parents checked my Halloween candy every year and we knew most of our neighbors.
If these people are still allowed to have kids, then you might as well let Mike Vick have his dogs back because to hell with things that make sense.
These parents are probably the same asshats who take medical diagnoses from WebMD seriously.
These are probably the same people who thought the world was going to end on May 21st of this year. The same people who think talking about not having sex is going to stop kids from having sex and making babies -- babies to whom they'll probably have tampered lollipops sent for homemade disease prevention.
People are so stupid, you guys. So painfully stupid.
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Come share the Twitter disease with me, or add me to your ringworms, er, circles, on Google+.
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I miss Razorblade Richard.
If these people are still allowed to have kids, then you might as well let Mike Vick have his dogs back because to hell with things that make sense.
These parents are probably the same asshats who take medical diagnoses from WebMD seriously.
"I woke up this morning and my hands were warm and now I'm going to die!"
These are probably the same people who thought the world was going to end on May 21st of this year. The same people who think talking about not having sex is going to stop kids from having sex and making babies -- babies to whom they'll probably have tampered lollipops sent for homemade disease prevention.
People are so stupid, you guys. So painfully stupid.
A thousand times stupid.
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Come share the Twitter disease with me, or add me to your ringworms, er, circles, on Google+.
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Pic sources:
1 - 2 - 3
Face palm? I just went and hit the wall a few times. What. The. Fuckity-fuck?
ReplyDeleteWoah. Um. There's so much to comment on here, it's hard to know where to start. I think sad Jesus says it all.
ReplyDeleteI think people who readily trust in immunizations just because they are accepted by an uneducated mass is equally undeserving of producing children. Do you KNOW what are in immunizations? First of all, they don't even make sense because the body's first line of defense are in the nasal cavities and orifices. Injecting "innoculated" juices (which actually contain neurotoxins and ALUMINUM. An infant's brain cannot fully develop when introduced to heavy metals)deep within your muscles in the ARM won't do shit to your immunity. Who seriously thought blood flow circulates EVERYTHING anyway? I guess that's what happens when you have state-controlled degrees and specializations. But don't take my word for it. Go ahead and ask any biochemist who went through all the red tape BS of deciphering all of this.
ReplyDeleteI agree that the parents in the article are insane and downright ignorant, but their paranoia stemmed from something sincere and it's a little appalling that people are so quick to assume.
..oh.
ReplyDelete